Blubbering Idiot

It has always fascinated me how people react differently to the same situation. Some people face stress very casually, while other people's nerves become frayed. Some people face tragedy head-on, while others deal with things a little at a time. Some people get really, really excited about good fortune, while other people appear to have a ho-hum reaction. This article is dedicated to those who have been overwhelmed by the pressures of the world. It is dedicated to those who have been tempted to give up on God.

It's just the most bizarre thing. How is it possible? I can completely lose control of my emotions, sobbing hysterically, thinking I may suffocate or choke on my tears, thinking I may pass out from insufficient oxygen, feeling like everything precious to me has been ripped from my life (and my heart along with it).

Yet, at the same time, as bad as it may seem, you know the pain can't go on forever. I don't mean that you logically conclude the pain must end. But you just know somewhere down in your soul that God knows your level of endurance. It may seem that God will push you beyond the brink of sanity, but He knows when to pull back. And the strange thing is, if God would want me to be insane (or whatever is unimaginable), would that be so bad if that were what God wanted?

You may feel like cursing God at the moment, but you don't because the Holy Spirit is there to help you. Somehow there is a voice, some unseen comfort, that tells you to just hold on a little longer and help will arrive. And the miracle is in being able to believe that voice and actually hold on. I've never been able to do that. I've always given up just before the calvary arrived. Until now, that is.

I may end up as a blubbering idiot, or be chopped up in a hundred pieces, or squashed into a little greasy spot. I may not be too happy with the aesthetic appeal of these situations. I may not be happy because I would not be getting my own way. And these situations may put a damper on my future plans. But I would rather be a blubbering idiot, a hundred pieces, or a little greasy spot that God loves, than to be a "perfect" person living a life of worldly happiness.

Somehow, God's love and power have so overwhelmed me that I am powerless to resist any longer. The pain may seem great. I may have to give up what I want. But what is there to go back to? I am not saying I am any stronger or braver than before. I am just learning that I can trust God.

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